Going off to college may mean leaving behind Mom and Dad, but it does mean picking up a new, mysterious cohabitant, your roommate. College freshmen overwhelmingly either choose to, or are required to, live in dorms. At some schools there exists the option of single inhabitant rooms, but these are few and far between. For the majority of freshmen, then, the move to college includes a transition into shared space. The type of room shared, however, can vary greatly.

Different Dorm Options

At some well-known schools, for example NYU, students are given a choice between ‘traditional’ and ‘apartment style’ dorming. The former is the classic set-up students usually envision when college housing is mentioned. Two x-long twin beds, two desks, and massive shared bathrooms down a long hall of doorways that each lead to another identical room. The traditional style dorm hall is known for creating a social atmosphere, particularly in schools where an open door policy is in effect. Students may find this style creates a stronger sense of community, even if it does come at the cost of braving public restrooms.

An alternative, apartment-style housing, may be offered for an additional charge beyond the usual price of traditional dorming. Apartment housing offers the benefits of a small kitchen and private bathroom usually shared between two to four bedrooms, housing a total of four to ten students. Apartment style housing allows more privacy, and freedom from an expensive meal plan, and the dreaded dining hall food. However, some students may feel isolated, as open-door policies are less effective and fewer connections are made between floormates.

Roommate Relations

Very few freshmen room with someone they know during their first year in college. Most are randomly paired with another student based on a housing survey that usually asks basic questions such as, “Do you smoke?”, “How neat are you?” and “Can you study with loud music?” Housing surveys make sure roommates have similar living habits, but that’s about it. It doesn’t take into account potential roommates’ personalities or idiosyncrasies. This is why, in the first few weeks, a roommate is really a stranger you live with.

Because of the highly random process of roommate pairing, roommate relations vary enormously. Some will find that they were paired with their future best friends, while others will learn to hate their roommates eternally. But those are extreme cases. A lot of the time a roommate is just someone you get along, but have conflicts with once in a while because of different living preferences. This is not necessarily a bad thing—roommates force you to learn how to share and respect others.

Since roommate relations help define your college experience, it’s important to keep them healthy. Below are 2 essential things to consider in order to maintain a smooth relationship with your roommate.

1. Bring up problems early—don’t bottle it up and hope it will go away. Developing a forum where you and your roommate can openly talk about issues is important. Whether the problem is your roommate’s significant other coming over too much or her dirty sneakers being on your bed, bring it up and remember to be courteous about it.

2. Compromise, even if it hurts a little. My roommate and I had very different temperature preferences. She was comfortable at 55 degrees Fahrenheit. I consider anything below 65 degrees freezing. We compromised in the 60s, and took turns being too cold and too hot.

Remember that you don’t need to love your roommate (although that is a bonus)—you just need to learn how to live with them.

By Risa Stein and Lukiih Cuan