Going off to college may mean leaving behind Mom and Dad, but it does mean picking up a new, mysterious cohabitant, your roommate. College freshmen overwhelmingly either choose to, or are required to, live in dorms. At some schools there exists the option of single inhabitant rooms, but these are few and far between. For the majority of freshmen, then, the move to college includes a transition into shared space. The type of room shared, however, can vary greatly.

Different Dorm Options

At some well-known schools, for example NYU, students are given a choice between ‘traditional’ and ‘apartment style’ dorming. The former is the classic set-up students usually envision when college housing is mentioned. Two x-long twin beds, two desks, and massive shared bathrooms down a long hall of doorways that each lead to another identical room. The traditional style dorm hall is known for creating a social atmosphere, particularly in schools where an open door policy is in effect. Students may find this style creates a stronger sense of community, even if it does come at the cost of braving public restrooms.

An alternative, apartment-style housing, may be offered for an additional charge beyond the usual price of traditional dorming. Apartment housing offers the benefits of a small kitchen and private bathroom usually shared between two to four bedrooms, housing a total of four to ten students. Apartment style housing allows more privacy, and freedom from an expensive meal plan, and the dreaded dining hall food. However, some students may feel isolated, as open-door policies are less effective and fewer connections are made between floormates.

Roommate Relations

Very few freshmen room with someone they know during their first year in college. Most are randomly paired with another student based on a housing survey that usually asks basic questions such as, “Do you smoke?”, “How neat are you?” and “Can you study with loud music?” Housing surveys make sure roommates have similar living habits, but that’s about it. It doesn’t take into account potential roommates’ personalities or idiosyncrasies. This is why, in the first few weeks, a roommate is really a stranger you live with.

Because of the highly random process of roommate pairing, roommate relations vary enormously. Some will find that they were paired with their future best friends, while others will learn to hate their roommates eternally. But those are extreme cases. A lot of the time a roommate is just someone you get along, but have conflicts with once in a while because of different living preferences. This is not necessarily a bad thing—roommates force you to learn how to share and respect others.

Since roommate relations help define your college experience, it’s important to keep them healthy. Below are 2 essential things to consider in order to maintain a smooth relationship with your roommate.

1. Bring up problems early—don’t bottle it up and hope it will go away. Developing a forum where you and your roommate can openly talk about issues is important. Whether the problem is your roommate’s significant other coming over too much or her dirty sneakers being on your bed, bring it up and remember to be courteous about it.

2. Compromise, even if it hurts a little. My roommate and I had very different temperature preferences. She was comfortable at 55 degrees Fahrenheit. I consider anything below 65 degrees freezing. We compromised in the 60s, and took turns being too cold and too hot.

Remember that you don’t need to love your roommate (although that is a bonus)—you just need to learn how to live with them.

By Risa Stein and Lukiih Cuan

The other day I was reminiscing about my dorm decision experience and recalled a few things I fussed over. I’d like to share a few of the thoughts that came to my mind with other college-bound or curious students.

What if I have roommate issues?

First of all, if you have roommate issues, your college’s Residential Life will be more than willing to help settle those concerns. For the most part, if you have roommate problems, you can bring it up with your RA, Residential Assistant, who will try to settle the issue(s). If conflicts persist, your RA can help you request a roommate switch through Residential Life. Res Life is there to help make your college experience wonderful!

How should I choose my first-year roommate?

Personal Experience: I went with a random when choosing my first-year roommate and things are great! I highly recommend choosing a random roommate for your first-year. Many people build strong and long-lasting relationships with their first-year roommates. At least, if you don’t become the best-of-friends, you will probably get along well. But just a word of caution, a random is a hit-or-miss situationthere is always the unlikely possibility that you get a nut-job of a roommate. Social events hosted by the college are another interesting way to choose your first-year roommate. Open-house for accepted students, Orientations, and Summer Programs are great ways to meet your peers and choose a potential roommate. Then again, how well can you know someone after one-day? The guy/girl could be the weirdo everyone else will be talking about! Other college freshmen have turned their attention towards social networking sites such as Myspace and Facebook to meet their peers. On the “Bentley Class of 2012” Facebook group, there is a discussion board posting called “Roommate Application.” Through this electronic medium, some incoming freshman found friends and prospective roommates. But as always, beware! Be cautious when meeting people off the Internet. Also, please note that not all colleges allow you to choose your first-year roommate. Most colleges have you fill out a questionnaire to match you with an equally interesting roommate.

Should I have more than one roommate, or any?

Opting for housing with more mates can be a great decision. The most common type of housing is the double, where you have one roommate, but other interesting options include triples and quads. For many people, the triple can be the way to go. My peers who have triples love the living situation. The room is a little bigger compared to doubles and as I like to say, the more the merrier. Quads are also fun, if not better. Quads are significantly larger than doubles and triples and with the extra room, you can bring in more stuff, or just more people and have a nice social get-together (a clean one of course, unless you, your roommates and guests are 21 or over). Lastly, you really lose out if you choose the single. Yeah, get more room for yourself and don’t have to worry about adjusting to and accommodating for another person’s lifestyle, but it gets lonely when you’re all alone, ALL THE TIME. At least with a roommate, you have the luxury of company.

What’s the deal with co-ed dorms?

Co-ed dorms. That’s in interesting issue. Here at Bentley, the dorms are co-ed, but the situation is that girls live on their own floor, or the other half of the floor with segregated bathrooms. Guests of the opposite sex are allowed in all rooms (there is no rule against it, unless you or your roommate dislike that). Other schools that aren’t co-ed may have a restriction on the opposite sex staying over past a certain hour, and may segregate the opposite sex by having all-male and all-female housing halls.  A word of caution: guys and girls go through entirely different issues, issues that the opposite sex may not be able to handle. Also, if sexual relationships build between roommates, the situation may be awkward because of the on-going relationship or because of tension after a break-up.

Well, that’s all folks.

Sincerely,

Danny Wong Bentley Class of 2012

Leave a comment or drop us any unanswered questions. To share some of your dorm experiences with the myCollegeSTAT community, reply to this post. We love to hear about the goods, the bads, and the uglies of your college experience. Thanks for sharing!

]]> http://blog.mycollegestat.com/2008/09/roommates-friend-or-foe-how-many-is-too-many-co-ed/feed/ 1